How to Fall Asleep With the God of Funerals 101
by conversechick12
Summary: when sadie begins drinking her little bubble tea obsession war breaks out with bubble tea with deathboy. yeah, bad summary huh? anyway read on.
1. Chapter 1

**HI EVERYONE! IM BAAAAAAAAAACK! SO SORRY I HAVNT POSTED ANYTHING UP IN THE LAST FEW MONTHS...IV BEEN HAVING 2 SNEAK ON MY COMPUTER WHEN I SAY IM DOING HOMEWORK OR MATHLETICS OR SOME CRAZY WACK STUFF LIKE THAT. ANYWAY IV BEEN INLOVE W/ STORIES OF RICK'S 4 YEARS AND WHEN HE RELEASED HIS NEW KANE CHRONICLES I WAS SOOOOOO OBSESSED RIGHT ON THE FIRST PAGE...ANYWAYS, READ ON AND REMEMBER 2 READ AND REVIEW! I HAVE WRITERS BLOCK. IT HURTS... :( **

**LUVV YAXXCONVERSECHICK12**

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I was sitting on my bed staring at my poster of Anubis when I heard a sharp knock on my door.

Carter came in with a national geographic magazine tucked under his left arm, and then with no explanation, he opened it and brought out a life size poster of Anubis in his jackal form.

"There stare at it all day if you have to!" Carter screamed at me.

He left leaving me alone in my room with the poster the old one and my little obsession: bubble tea.

I've loved the stuff to bits since Liz and Emma gave me some last month. Any way I was checking emails on my laptop when I opened one that was from my school in London. I opened it and waited for it to load. A blank message about some stupid dance that was happening in two weeks. I deleted the message then went on sorting through my other 200+ emails. Bast knocked on my door and came in with no reply. She was dressed in a leopard print playsuit with an assortment of gold bangles on her wrist. Her hair was piled up in a neat bun on the top of her head and gold hoops complimenting her dark black hair.

"Sadie, honey, I'm going to be gone for a few hours so..."

"Bast, I can look after myself. I'm a Kane, remember?"

"Guess you're right." Bast replied, "Just don't try anything stupid while I'm gone."

She left the room. I got comfortable again and sipped out of the grape flavoured bubble tea.

The sweet chewy jelly bits flied up the straw and into my mouth. YUM. I heard a portal being opened in the kitchen. It closed with a loud bang. I ignored it and went back to my bubble tea happily. Well that was before I found out the god of toilet paper was sitting on the end of my bed. It gave me such a fright I jumped and split my bubble tea all over me. I smelt like a fruit salad and looked like a baby puked on me. Nice.

"What the bloody hell Anubis? YOU FREAKIN SPILT MY BUBBLE TEA!" I yelled.

It was his turn to be scared. He stepped back and put his hands up apologetically. The Cretin.

"Oh, sorry Lady Kane. I didn't mean t-"

"Don't call me lady Kane." I sighed in frustration and Anubis looked down onto my black and white polka dotted sheets.

"Sadie, uh forgive me for scaring you. Let me clean that up." He was being a gentleman, which was annoying me. In a blink of an eye my top was changed. A strapless black corset. Uh huh.

"Little over rated don't you think?" I asked with an eyebrow raised.

"I think its fine." He smiled which wasn't something you saw every day. I smiled deviously and looked down to my bubble tea.

"Why are you smiling Lady Kane?" He questioned nervously. I shook the cup and looked back up to Anubis.

"No, reason…EXCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR GOING TO BE BUBBLE TEAD!" I tipped the remaining tea onto Anubis' messy black hair quickly and laughed at the peachy orange mess. He smiled surprisingly and gave me the world's biggest hug, burying his head into my shoulders. It took me a few seconds to realise what he was doing. I let go of him and pushed him away.

"ANUBIS YOU IDIOT!" He kept laughing at me, oblivious of how much his butt was going to be kicked. I eventually gave in and laughed with him.

We ended up unable to breathe so we just sat in each other's arms on my bed. We didn't speak but the silence improvised for our sentences:

"_I love you Lady Kane."_

"_Yeah, I love you too Anubis, but again, enough with the Lady Kane. It's Sadie. S-A-D-I-E."_

Eventually night set in and moonlight shone through my window. It fell onto Anubis' black hair making an iridescent glow. He played with my hair until we both fell asleep with red streaks tangled in his pale fingers. I rested on his Dead Weather covered chest with was surprisingly comfortable. The night was starry and peaceful, just like Anubis' chocolate eyes. I knew from the moment I met him he was intimidating but gorgeous, just like a thorned ruby red rose.

**CHEESY MUCH? WELL WE ALL NEED A SLICE OF CHEDDAR IN OUR LIFE AND THIS SHOULD BE PART OF IT. SHOULD I WRITE MORE ON IT? TELL ME IF I SHOULD BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THIS STORY. ITS PLAYFUL AND ADORABLE AND AMAZING TO WRITE. REVIEWS ARE GREATLY APPRECIATED!**

**XXCONVERCECHICK12 ;P**


	2. Chapter 2

**SUP GUYS, SO I'M PUTTING THE 2ND CHAPTER UP FOR THIS KANE CHRONICLES FIC AND IT WILL BE THE FINAL CHAPT. BUT I WILL BE POSTING UP HEAPS MORE ONESHOTS DURING THE HOLIDAYS. AND AGAIN THANKS FOR ALL THE POSITIVE REVIEWS AND ENCOURAGEMENT GIVEN TO ME FOR THE LAST CHAPT.**

**XXCONVERSECHICK12**

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Sadie was buried into my chest when I woke. Her red streaked hair was in the world's biggest bird's nest, but her pale face was still as angelic as the next guardian angel. That was until she woke.

She sat right up, "Bubblygum." She said out of random.

"What?"

Her cheeks flushed and she realised her situation and then looked at me and raised an eyebrow as if everything was back to normal.

"Aren't you supposed to be mysteriously running off to the hall of judgment round about now?" Sadie asked.

"I do not do that all the time Lady Kane."

"My name is not Lady Kane! And yes you always run off when I'm trying to talk to you or if I'm around you."

I realised that that did happen a lot and suddenly I felt guilty. "I'm sorry Sadie, for everything. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Oh yeah, how?" Her question haunted me. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up from the bed.

"I'll take you to London and you can teach me all those modern courtship rituals I apparently need to learn."

She smiled and looked into my eyes, "Alright, but it still doesn't mean you're off the hook yet." Sadie leaned in and crushed her lips to mine.

"Wait, what hook?" I asked puzzled.

"Oh, Anubis." She rolled her eyes at me and created a portal to London.

*O**O**O**O*

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I landed in Anubis's arms in the middle of Trafalgar square. He let me down instantly and kissed my forehead.

"So, where to now?" Anubis questioned.

"Well, I know the most amazing bubble tea shop up the street and after that I know a quiet little graveyard where I can teach you how to live in the 21st century." I smiled while he pulled me closer so our hips were touching. I buried my hand in his hair.

"That seems like a great idea."

*0**0**0**0*

"So what exactly are you going to teach me Lady Kane?" Anubis asked me while trudging through dewed patches of weeds around the old Highgate cemetery. There was a little one that I insisted on going to that used to be down the street from me, but Anubis being a true gentleman wouldn't settle for anything other than lavish graveyards in the presence of a Lady or me.

"Again for the hundredth time it's Sadie and next time you call me Lady Kane you're giving me your bubble tea."

"Fine Lady K-"

"Hand it over." I smiled and he sighed, tipping his tea into my cup.

"Alright lesson number one of Sadie's "learn to get with times in dating" course: girls do not get married off to people in my culture and especially not at my age. And two: you don't always have to try your hardest to impress women Anubis, you already won my heart when you said that I had good taste with Baboons." I smiled and moved closer to his pale face. He brushed a red streak behind my ear and kissed my lips softly and I kissed back.

We continued over to the nearest grave marker where Anubis paused to ask if we could sit. It apparently was okay since Anubis crushed his lips into mine again and laid me down against the cold stone. We both gasped for air after a few minutes and laughed for no reason really.

I made myself comfortable in his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. We moved to the stump of an old ornamental cherry tree since it was kind of disrespectful to makeout on some random's grave. Anubis stroked my hair before I leaned my head against his shoulder and kissed his neck.

"I love you Anubis, don't you ever doubt that." I whispered.

"I love you too Sadie."

The final rays of sunlight for the day fell through the thick mob of trees and on to Anubis and I and for the second time, I fell asleep with the god of funerals.

**AM VERY SORRY FOR NOT PUTTING UP A VERY KANE CHRISTMAS INTIME FOR XMAS AND NOT UPLOADING THIS CHAPTER SOON ENOUGH. I'M MOVING TO SOME PLACE IN LIKE 3 DAYS AND MY MUM ACCIDENTLY PUT MY LAPTOP IN THE BOXES, SO I HAD TO GO THROUGH LIKE 20 BOXES TO FIND IT. I DOUBT THAT I'LL PUT A VERY KANE XMAS UP SOON AS TO THE RESULT OF EXTRA DANCING AND MORE DRAMA EXAMS AND CHAMPS(I WON THE LAST CHAMPIONSHIP OUT OF 30 KIDS WHO WERE ALL EQUIPED WITH PUSHY STAGE MOTHERS!:D) ANYWAY I'LL TRY TO UPLOAD MORE SOON THROUGH THE NEXT 3 WEEKS AND I'LL BE MISSING IN ACTION FOR A FEW DAYS BECAUSE OF SETTING UP THE WIRELESS IN THE NEW PLACE BUT I HOPE YOU HAD A TOTALLY AWESOME CHRISTMAS AND I HOPE THAT YOU HAVE A SUPER-MEGA-FOXY-AWESOME-HOT NEW YEAR TONIGHT!XXCONVERSECHICK12:/**


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